Nap Time

I feel guilty, I’d rather spend time in my Bible than studying, but I know what’s right, I know what I need to do to get through the day-the week- the semester. My $30,000 school year that my father generously pays for, yet I wreck it. Feels like I do a lot of that lately. Constantly beating myself up for letting go of worldly things and angered at the results I often get when seeking out for Christ. But I know this is a trick- a trap, Lord deliver me from undermining my own self.

Penalizing myself for making you a priority… 

feeling worthless sometimes because I go to a Christian school, feeling like I am wasting my time and actually considering transferring to a more secular school where I’d get less of God and more of the World. This poison that leaks into the very crevices of my mind, whispering that honorprestige, and greatness only lies in worldly titles. Am I really going to deny myself a life of wealth and glory, am I really going to step away from the pride of being an adored surgeon or some other profession where I glorify myself? And then I remember all the things God has done for me and I accept the life I think the Lord has called me to do. To serve. To lift Him up. To love.


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