Walking

In the midst of spring, in the midst of joy, in the midst of a beautiful sunny March, my world fell down on me. My back was busted, shoulders crushed, my spine in shambles. No communication occurred between my brain and my body- my muscles were slabs, my joints were candy, my bones were paper. My face torn and every single hole was a vessel to which my emotions leaked out, every last drop. Liquidated to nothing. Then my love came to me and grabbed me by the face: “I love you, you’ll be strong again.” He held my hands like if they were the most precious things he had ever felt. With delicacy, he sowed me back up, strings for ligaments and buttons for eyes. I could only sleep when I was with him, I could only feel alive when he held me, I was only myself in his lap. I was his puppet.

How he loved my carcass was beyond me, I hardly functioned, I was hollow. He held me tight and kissed my sweet nose. And just when he mended me together, he broke me again. Shoved me in a closet and kept me in the dark. Told me I was his queen but set our castle on fire. I almost burned alive. So I threw myself in a lake.

The lake was too dark. Too cold. Too many old creatures swam in there. Can’t drown my demons when they could breathe under water. I was the one who couldn’t breathe under water. I won’t lie though, I held my breathe for months, nearly thought I was one of them. But the Prince of Peace came walking on the lake one day and said something about looking for me, waiting for me. I took His left hand and with His right one He fought off the darkness. This was when love came down and rescued me.

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